I'm Dumb.

They never told me when you get out of hell you lose your wings.

ewzzy:

Driver’s Licenses: Official. Do not print out and pretend to be a Princientist.

(via benadictcumberbatch)

kurgs:

skeletongrazed:

skeletongrazed:

what’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants ?

one’s a crusty bus station and one’s a busty crustacean

#i’ve told this joke a million times and it NEVER fails

(via drowning-in-dysfunction)

zachthemermaid:

alarmingpenguin:

when you flip your calendar to january but realize that it’s still december

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U don’t flip your calendar to January you get a new one

(via that-short-white-girl)

anchors-awaysailor:

Things Girls Have To Do In The Shower:
-shave
-shampoo hair
-condition hair
-wash the face (have you ever tried to get makeup off)
-wash the body
-try to get conditioner out & fail to get it all out
-did i mention shave that takes a long time
-like summon satan and stuff

Things Boys Have To Do In The Shower:
-i dunno i think my brother uses soap sometimes

Don’t complain when my shower’s not 5 minutes long

(via that-short-white-girl)

cpecod:

have you ever had the urge to spoil somebody and buy them everything they’ve ever wanted because they are just so wonderful and you love them a lot and they deserve all of the nice things??? then u realize u are broke and sad

(via homocidol)

ridge:

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my mom bought this thing for my neck and it’s called “Happy Neck”

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i’m happy

(via homocidol)

whovian-all-over:

ohyousillypotato:

And here we can see the Blogger in her natural habitat.

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The blogger is a shy, docile creature…

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… that prefers the darkness…

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… and tends to be wary of the outside world.

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The Blogger rarely sleeps, and when it does, it does so in seemingly random places.image

We have attempted to understand the dietary habits of the Blogger…

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… but to no avail.

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I am so glad this is back

(Source: mechapuppy, via parkingstrange)

teacherbach:

sociallychallengednerd:

why do people say chicken as a term for coward? Have you ever meet a chicken? Cause those things will fuck you up man

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(via parkingstrange)

misspelledlife:

SLAAAAY TORONTO IM SO PROUD OF THIS

(Source: adteachings, via parkingstrange)

meladoodle:

nothing pisses me off more than the fact that 90% of women’s jeans have non-functioning pockets but baby clothes have proper pockets? what are babies carrying around that i’m not? baby wallets? fuck off

(Source: meladoodle, via floozys)

tokitaee:

cutetokii:

We’ve all heard lots about Robin Williams lately about his death, and this needs to happen, he deserves it. 

Most (if not all) of us know Robin Williams just passed away, and after years of making so many of us laugh until we cry, I feel like we should give back. Robin was a huge Legend of Zelda fan, you might have picked up on that, due to the fact that he named his daughter Zelda. Above is a picture of him and his daughter (Zelda Williams) in the Ocarina of Time 3DS commercial. They also starred in another commercial for Nintendo for the release/promotion of Zelda: Skyward Sword for Wii. 

You may have seen a post going around to send Nintendo a suggestion about somehow mentioning/dedicating the new LOZ game to Robin, if you went ahead and send Nintendo a suggestion, great! (I did too) But sign this petition as well, there are over 32,000 signatures and this petition needs 2,000+ more, we’re so close!! Please signal boost this.

You can sign the petition here: [  x  ] or click on the picture(s).

This is a lovely idea.<3

(via we-arethecrystalgems)

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